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Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitude toward life. The longer I live, the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it.
I believe the single most significant decision I make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position.
Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there’s no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me.
Make a Great Day! Dr Duke
POSSIBLE ENTRY WORDS TO KINGDOM CONVERSTATION
F.O.R.M. – Family, Occupation, Recreation, Motivation
Talk about their Family and remember where they grew up and what their children interests are.
Talk about Occupation and remember where they work and why they work at their job. If money was no object, would they do what they are doing now? Do they have any fear about losing their job?
Talk about Recreation and remember what they really like to do. Hobbies? fishing, sports, hiking, knitting, painting.
Talk about their Motivation – What makes them tick. May be a doctor during day but enjoys working on old cars at night -this is what makes them really enjoy life.
Goal: to find out some areas of stress in their life or the life of their children.
Then use a sentence that will allow allow quick entry into Kingdom Conversation:
“With your permission may I pray for _______?”
When permission is granted, then take out a pad and pencil and write down the prayer request; name, circumstance for them or family member, etc .Ex. Child dating someone you disapprove of or Husband unsure about his job or marriage relationship.
As you are writing prayer requests down, ask second sentence: “You do believe God answers prayer, don’t you?”
Since they gave you permission to pray use third sentence: “What do you think about God?”
Everyone has an opinion about God, even the non-believer has an opinion about God.
Time for fourth sentence: “May I share something with you that someone else shared with me which made it easier for me to understand God?“
USE MAYISHARE BRIDGE ILLUSTRATION to share Christ with them in a non-threatening way.
1) “Are you a Christian?”- Not a good question to ask!
2) When you die and go to heaven, and God says ‘Why should I let you in?’ What are you going to say?”
3) “Can you point to the exact time you accepted Christ?” – good to ask!
Additional questions that are used effectively
1)“Is it easy for you to share your faith?”
2) “May I show you how I share my faith?”
3)“What do you think about God?”
4)“Who do you think Jesus was?”
5) “Where do you take your children to Church?”
Best short-cut to get right to the most important question
“May I share something with you that someone shared with me that made it easier for me to understand who God was?”
Duke Heller Phone Numbers
Cell – 614-746-1636
Home – 614-888-4830
Make a Great Day! Dr Duke
I choose to forgive as a Christian – Sermon given by Duke Heller
If Christianity is about anything, it is about forgiveness.
How far do we push this Christian forgiveness thing? It is great to forgive and all of that but we live in a real world, not in church.
Some people do horrible things. Kids get murdered. Women are raped. There is cheating on marriage vows with close friends. There is domestic violence and embezzlement. Results are: broken hearts, broken lives, broken bodies, broken marriages, and broken psyches.
Whether we live in the church or outside the church, we would all acknowledge that we could not live in a world without some level of forgiveness.
In the modern world when we talk about massive evil, the prototype of great evil is, of course, the Holocaust. There was a book written about 40 years ago by Simon Wiesenthal called The Sunflower.
Wiesenthal was an Austrian Jew, who was imprisoned in a Nazi Concentration Camp during WWII. He was assigned to a work detail to do cleanup work in a field hospital near the Eastern front. While he was working at the field hospital, a German nurse ordered Wiesenthal to follow her.
He was taken into a room where there was one lone Secret Service Nazi soldier, who was dying. The SS soldier was a 21-year old German boy named Karl Seidel. Karl asked the nurse to “bring him a Jew” because he was dying and he wanted to make his last confession. He wanted to make his last confession to a Jew.
So this SS soldier was wrapped in bandages covering his face and there was Simon Wiesenthal alone with him in a room. Karl said that he was raised in a Christian family; he was raised in church. His parents were not supporters of the Nazis, but he decided on his own to join the Nazis and specifically, at age 18, he decided to join the SS.
And then he told Wiesenthal that he joined a group of SS soldiers to round up Jews in a certain city. 300 Jews – men, women, children and infants – were gathered and driven with whips into a 3-story house which he then helped to set on fire. Any Jews who tried to escape from the burning house, Karl and the other SS soldiers shot.
So Karl said, “Now I am dying and I wanted to confess to a Jew how sorry I am for what I’ve done and for what I’ve become.” Here are his final words:
I am left here with my guilt. In the last hours of my life you are here with me. I do not know who you are, I only know that you are a Jew and that is enough…I know that what I have told you is terrible. In the long nights while I have been waiting for death, time and time again I have longed to talk about it to a Jew and beg forgiveness from him. Only I didn’t know if there were any Jews left…I only know what I’m asking is almost too much for you, but without your answer I cannot die in peace.
Simon Wiesenthal believed the man was sincere, that he was truly sorry, but he got up and silently left the room without offering a word. Wiesenthal himself died in 2005. He was 96 years old and he was a great humanitarian. But in his book, The Sunflower, he posed the question: What should I have done? Should I have offered that young man forgiveness?
In the second part of The Sunflower, 53 prominent thinkers – Jews, Christians, atheists, and philosophers responded to Wiesenthal’s question: Should I have offered him forgiveness?
28 of the 53 said, “Absolutely not. You can’t offer forgiveness in this kind of situation.” 16 of the responders said, “Yes. There is a way that forgiveness could be offered.”
9 weren’t sure.
Of the 16 who said yes, 13 of them were Christians and 3 were Buddhists. All of the muslims and jews so NO.
You don’t need to hang on to a hurt in your life.
God can take that hurt from you. You can forget the pain in the process of Forgiveness.
I have a limited capacity. I can’t do it all. I can’t fix it all. I can’t carry it all. I can’t carry all the problems of the future.
Talk about choices of the past. Young – make mistakes, make bad choices.
Need to find a Biblical way to handle past disappointments. People will disappoint us.
I choose to forgive the past. How many things would you change? We can’t go back. God did not give us the capacity to carry the burdens of the past.
I am not able to carry the past with me.
I need the Lord to help me change my ability to accept the failures of the past.
Matt 6:14-15 I choose to forgive “ If you forgive others….BUT…..neither will your father forgive your trespasses.”
Do you get it? Need to grab this verse.
People who are REALLY SAVED forgive other people.
We need to be the most forgiving person you work with. She is not petty. He is not a score keeper….He is forgiving…You choose forgiveness.
Jesus has just said the Lord’s prayer –previous verses…. Matt 6:12, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” – Forgive others
Jesus was hoping that people would listen to what the prayer is really saying…Jesus was thinking about people needing to forgive.
How many people want God to forgive them more than they want to forgive others?
Forgive me my trespassing PLEASE. God I need you to forgive me.
Need to choose to forgive others….so God will forgive me …
Forgiveness definition – (143 times in Bible)
Release person, legal context – to release them from a previous obligation. Canceling a debt
Forgiveness is a decision. It is an act of my will. It is a choice. Choice to release a person from an obligation that resulted when they injured me. People injure us in relationships.
What choice do you have?
God did not give you the capacity to carry the past with you.
What can you do?
You must forgive or it will tear you apart. Be very hard to forget.
You took my place in traffic. You took my friend Bill to the ballgame and not me.
You took my pencil.
Intangible forgiveness: Harder to forgive these –
You took my right to fairness.
You took my dream as a person to have a happy marriage.
You took my confidence.
You took my dignity.
You took my safety.
You took my purity.
Forgiveness is a decision to forgive the person from an obligation when they injured me with their action.
You owe me.
I am going to make you pay by hurting you.
By hating you.
By telling others what you did to me.
By recruiting others to my side.
I am going to make you pay.
You say something unkind to me; I say unkind things about you in an email.
You blog about me; I slash your tires.
You punch me; I sue you.
You bomb my house; I bomb your country.
This is what actually ended up happening in this Lamech approach to doing life and it resulted in the massive outbreak of evil that took place in the day of Noah that God had to judge.
But it may be that Jesus is proposing a very different way of doing life than the Lamech way. Instead of escalating violence, tit for tat, back and forth, Jesus is saying, “There is a way of doing life, of not returning fire, of repeatedly forgiving, repeatedly offering pardon, and repeatedly offering restoration instead of vengeance.”
Do you have sufficient imagination, Jesus is asking, to enter the world that I have come to introduce? I am bringing a different kingdom. I’ve come to introduce you to a new world, a new creation. Do you have the imagination, the space in your heart to embrace the new world that I am introducing?
What does Biblical Forgiveness look like?
Scripture: Matthew 18:15-35
If brother sins against you?
How much must I forgive?
How much did Jesus forgive?
One Talent = 20 years wages – 10,000 talents = Billions
King moved with passion –v27
How much do we understand forgiveness
100 Denari = $20,000
How much will I suffer if I don’t forgive?
Slave said, “Have patience with me??” Debt could not be paid.
Do you understand who the King is in this parable? God is the King and we are the servants…who cannot repay God for what he has done for us.
We are the slave…despite the fact that we have done a lot of good things and helped a lot of people…in front of a Holy God you owe a debt that can never be paid…only grace of God that keeps me from falling into pit of Hell.
I cannot pay my debt for sin. You can’t work to resolve it. I have nothing to earn God’s grace. My only chance is to ask God to pay it for me….
But God says HE will not lightly reduce the penalty for sin….Jesus came into the world to pay a debt he did not owe because we owed a debt we could not pay.
You don’t owe me. The debt is paid.
I am not looking for payment. Not looking for a chance to pay you back.
I am not going to do it. I am writing it off. I can’t carry this with me.
God did not make me be able to carry the past with me.
It is crushing me. I can’t carry the weight.
I am choosing to forgive you.
Problem: I forgive on Thursday and Friday I am trying to carry the weight of what you did to me again. AGREE
Forgiveness is a crisis and a process. First thing I have to do is realize that my unforgiveness is a sin.
If I don’t forgive “you” then God is not going to forgive “me”
I must stop reviewing it. Stop thinking through it again and again. Stop explaining it. Stop defending it. Need to have crisis…then there is the process.
Forgiveness in the process:
I won’t bring it up to the person. I won’t bring up to other people. I am not going to bring it up to myself. I am not going to remember it.
See that person on Thursday, my mind goes BAMM! Back to the offense or the hurt.
Yes I know
Forgiveness is a Crisis and a process.
Crisis— you decide
Process— you live it out.
When you fail in the process, you must return to the crisis!
When you find your mind takes you back.
Return to the crisis and ask God to help you forgive.
Tell God, “I commit afresh to let it go. Please help me do that.”
Crisis Process Crisis Process Crisis Process…..after time you will let it go.
Rationalization for not forgiving.
Unforgiveness is cancer in your soul.
Why people don’t forgive:
Hurt is too big….I am thinking that is why I need to give it up. The bigger the hurt the more I would want to get it out.
Time will heal it….Not true…Time heals nothing! It is not going away with time. This thing is getting worse even though you flipped a few pages on the calendar. This thing is getting really bad…getting red, ozzing. Doc – get it out. Antibiotic is not taking care of the problem.
I will forgive when she says she is sorry. People usually do not come back very often to tell you they are sorry. Person probably is off doing that same thing to someone else because they probably don’t care if you are bothered with their action toward you…even though it hurt you. Main reason person sins against you is because they are selfish. When you say, “I will forgive her when she says she is sorry” will not solve the problem. No that is not coming. You will only become more bitter. Bitterness is like a hot coal in your hand, the more you hold it, the more it burns your skin.
I can’t forgive unless I can forget….Sorry you have got that backwards…because you not not forget…on your own. You won’t forgive until you forget. Forgiveness is needed before you forget….over time God will bring you to the place that you will not be reminded of the pain the other person caused you. You don’t need to hang on it. You will forget the pain through the crisis and process of forgiveness.
If I forgive them they are just going to do it again. Someone has to make them pay. I agree someone does need to make them pay. That is God’s job. Romans 12:19 that it is a righteous thing with God to make them pay for your tribulation. “Vengeance is mine says the Lord, I will repay.” You don’t want to get between the hammer and the nail of that situation. Let God be the hammer. Let God do HIS thing and you show God that the love of Jesus has penetrated your heart….by choosing to forgive.
But Duke, “If I forgive them, they are just going to do it again.” Forgiveness does not mean you put yourself in a position to get injured again if it is avoidable. Forgiveness does not require that you can’t say to a person, “Hey we are not going there again.” I am not going to put myself in that position again when I got hurt.
How can I protect myself. You can bring something up to the person if it will be for their own good? I have in the past got myself in a real high-pressure situation and the Lord will bring it up to my mind, “you better slow down and speak more carefully. You are going to blow it here.” It is OK for me to listen to God’s leading as HE attempts to remind me of my past sin. God does not forget my past sin, HE just does not bring it up to me anymore. God treats me as if it never happened…which is what forgiveness really is. I therefore don’t bring it up EXCEPT where it would be to their advantage. I know they don’t want to fall into the thing they did that offended me.
Biblical motivation for asking for forgiveness:
I choose forgiveness because: Benifits
Forgiveness has no limits. Forgiveness lets you to forget and go on serving the Lord. Matt 18:15, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, if he listens to you, you have gained a brother.”
“Seven times Peter, you are just wonderful to think that many.” But Jesus did not agree with Peter and said, “How about 70 times 7?” That could mean 77 times but it really means there is no limit to the times you forgive someone.
Way through what Jesus Christ did for me. I need to throw my arms around the fact that I need forgiveness….have you done that? Starts there first
Eph 4:31 says to put all bitterness and clamor away from you, tender hearted, forgiving one another…even as God in Christ has forgiven you…
If your life has been altered by what Christ did for you…the surest demonstration of that is that you want to extend that forgiveness to other people….
How is that going for you???
Bible says that if you will not forgive others, perhaps you are not born again… Perhaps you need to rethink your commitment to Christ…
It does not happen over night but it does happen over time. If you truly have embraced what Christ did for you then you will have to forgive others.
Unforgiveness destroys relationships….how many would agree that when he started to choke him that that relationship was pretty much over?
BUT the King says, “You wicked servant”…I forgave you…could have had a great relationship…instead…King puts the guy in prison to pay the debt…you owe me so much money that you are going to prison till you pay…
Not see wife or kids again…because he did not forgive
Not see friends or relatives….because he did not forgive
Not see co-workers again….because he did not forgive
Unforgiveness is destructive to innocent people…how many people are suffering from unforgiveness in you that has nothing do to with them? But it plays into the tone of your conversation with other innocent people, plays into the impatience and your rashness…plays into your shortness…but people who have done nothing wrong are suffering because of you…. but has to do with unforgiveness in your heart toward someone that you are holding onto….
Times in my life I had to let it go and forgive:
Someone on my faculty 20 years ago…had to release him from my faculty because he could not bring himself to teach a surgery technique the way I wanted it taught for the safety of the students…..he later criticized me and to this day undermines my teaching institution.
Dr. Steven C. Restoration with father– “Forgive me for the way I feel about you.” A dental friend of mine came to me saying that he “hated” his father because he had left their family when he was a teenager. Steve explained that he had gotten a couple Christmas gifts while in high school and then had not heard from his father since; Steve was in his 50’s now. His dad had not seen his children and he felt so bad for them. He said it really did not bother him that much as he had shut his dad out of his mind and out of his life! I told Steve, “That is not true you have shut it out of your mouth as you have brought it up to me. I explained that his feelings were generated because he had never forgiven his father for what he had done; thus that is where the hate had come into his heart.
Daughter’s girlfriend got a divorce. Felt she could not forgive her x-husband for commiting adultery with her best friend….talk to her on the phone…suggested she pray for her x-husband…said she could not…told her you can not hold a grudge against someone if you pray for them… over a long period of time…One day she called me and explained she felt free…last night she asked God to help her forgive Jeff and she felt free…..RESULT…of praying and forgiving….Ex-husband came to her house and asked her to forgive him for what he had done to her….she said she did forgive him but he probably needed to ask God to forgive him….
She did not tell kids of adultery but edified their father to them. Felt her children needed father influence more than she needed revenge.
How did that work out – doing it God’s way?
He has spent Christmas in family house after spending the night in that home Christmas eve. He has gone on baseball trips with grandparents and ex-wife. Parents and ex-wife still get him a Christmas and birthday gift each year…
What are benefits of my daughter’s friend for forgiving her ex-husband?
Made payments of alimony on time, paid extra money for dental braces, for extra clothes. Loaned ex-wife money when she was trying to fix up her house to sell it….Paid for children’s college education….
Because she has given him a key for her house, he comes and stays with the kids when she is gone to help protect them….
Duke’s life…put names down on prayer list and ask God to help me forgive them….Help me God to write these names off my list…I know God does not want me to carry this hurt with them.
Unforgiveness destroys me…..
absolute opposite of what God calls us to…got to let it go….don’t have to prove you are right… Matt 18….delivered the wicked slave to the torchers…to pay all of his debt…
Prayer: Close your eyes and think of those people you need to forgive. Faces are probably in your heart. It may be a choice you need to make and return to the crisis and then use the process to forgive them.
Is God bringing names to you?
Can you see their faces?
Maybe a family member.
Maybe it is someone you have not seen for a long time.
Forgive me for my unforgiveness. Lord, I forgive _____(name person) and name the offense_______. Lord I forgive my mom for ______. I forgive my wife for___.
I forgive my brother for ____. My sister for _____. I forgive my boss for ____.
I know that feelings may not be there now but I know that feelings will follow obedience. Joy comes through obedience. You Word is true. Your Word is my blueprint…Lord I choose. Name the offense and then choose to forgive personShare:
Make a Great Day! Dr Duke
PS 103:12 put sin far from you and not remember
I choose “forgiveness” by choosing to forgive,
I am forgiven by God – is a true statement. Change view of yourself.
I CHOOSE to be forgiven by God.
Getting into his boat……Your sins is forgiven……Son of Man on Earth has the authority to forgive sins.
v. 6 – Jesus can forgive sins
The problem in my life is – SIN
Matt 9: – People thought man had health problem….God’s eyes …..sin and sickness is not that far apart…..arise…your sins are forgiven.
Sin is behind every problem in the world
Psunami – because of sin
Hunger in world – because of sin
Earthquakes – because of sin
Flooding is because of sin
Universe is broken – sun is burning out
Universe is turning slower each year…..it is breaking down
Romans 8: Universe is in bondage to decay. Universe is breaking down
When Adam and Eve choose to sin – plunged earth into sin
God is not trying to fix the universe now – Going to let it burn down
Every planet problem – because of sin
Every people problem – because of sin
Every physical problem you and I have – because of sin
Every heart problem, every cancer – because of sin
We were not made this way. When man was made in garden of Eden, made perfect
But when Adam/Eve choose to sin – tore at fabric of perfection.
God allowed them to become twisted and broken.
We were not made that way but we are that way now.
Every break in God’s law is broken
Subject to decay
Newspaper – Sexual sin, truth is not found easily
Earth will become worse and worse
All because of sin
Romans 5:12 – One man sin entered the world
Sinful by birth, actions
Exec 10:23 – No other Gods before me
Don’t take God’s name in vain
Don’t joke about God
Don’t minimize God
Keep Sabbath for God
Honor your father and mother – Always honor them
Don’t murder – If you hate someone in your heart you are a murder
Don’t commit adultery – Lust in your heart is like adultery
Don’t lie – even to your self
Don’t covet things – neighbors wife, money, jewelry
Think it is a problem is our lives. 5 things
1) We are born in sin -Ps 51:5 – David said I was brought forth in sin my mother conceived me – reason Duke says in folder that “It is not entirely your fault you are a sinner.” I have never needed a pep talk about sinning…..”Hey Duke, make sure you keep that sinning going today!”
2) We are determined sinners – We have a disease. Gen 6:5 “say the wickedness of os his thought. Sin is Cancer
3) We are deceived about sin inside us. Jer 17:9 – heart is deceived….try to convince yourself sin is OK….blind to reality
4) We are desperate sinners Jer 17:9 – we are despirate because of sin….no way out of it by ourselves
5) We are destined Rom 6:23 – wages of sin is death. Ezekle 18:20 – soul that sins will surely die…physically and spiritually.
Prognosis is parish – John 3:16….shall not perish…If you don’t believe in HIM, they will parish.
Perish – eternal death sentence. Shocking people that will not ignore reality. Hebrews 9:27, “appointed unto man to die…..one chance. No one knows when death is coming to you. …accidents happen, auto accidents, earthquakes, etc.
Did not see that off ramp coming so quickly
Better make sure NOW.
Everyone thinks they are going to heaven!!
“I know so many people who are worse than I am…”
God is not your college professor – who grades on the curve.
Jesus said broad is the road that leads to destruction, many are going there and narrow is the road that leads to eternity life and few are going to find that narrow road……many are going to parish
Many people will say, “God, I did all of these things for you – taught Sunday school class, served on the men’s ministry planning committee, disciple a woman….Jesus said, “Get away from me I never knew you” Matt 7
People are slow to grab this principal even though they are perishing…
Lump in your breast “Doctor, am I going to die?” the answer is yes. He can not do anything with “If you are going to die” only “when you are going to die.” 100% disease. No cure for eventual death.
How can people not be ready for death?? Everyone knows we are going to die.
You can choose where you are going to spend eternity.
What would think of an accountant that did not tell you that you were bankrupt?
What would you think of a lawyer that did not tell you your will did not leave anything to your children and the city gets your house and the dog pound gets the furniture.
What would you think of a doctor that would not tell you that you have two weeks to live?
How much more worse a preacher that will not tell you about the certainity of your perishing and your eternity in Hell
Hell is eternal, conscious torment; place of God’s wrath and God’s judgment.
Punishment where pain never ceases, darkness never ends, flames never stop.
Do you want to go there? As good as heaven is, hell will be so bad you would not wish it on your worst enemy.
Problem is sin, prognosis is death and separation from God. If God had not stepped in, nothing would change that course of action for our sin.
Are you ready to choose…some good news?
Provision – increadible the provision is forgiveness
You and I can be forgiven for our sins…Matt 9 – Jesus healed paralytic of his sins.
Scribes said – you are blaspheming.
Jesus was not going to heal the man of his health first and then his eternity problem
Spiritual problem was greater
Only Jesus is the one to have authority to forgive sins…There is no B plan
Jesus is God and has authority to forgive sins
Ex 34:6 – Lord slow to anger, forgives inquity, will not forgive the quilty!
Mica 7:8 – Pardons inquity, does not retain anger
Ps 103:12 – sin put far away
Mica 7:19 – Cast all sin into depths of sea
Ps 32:1 – sin is covered
Ezk 36:26 – new heart
Don’t you want to be forgiven?
We can’t fix our sin probem.
No amound of sin can be washed away by itself
External cleasing agaent
Payment is Christ – good news of the Gospel
This is what separates all religions
False religion – I will do this my self…prove to God I can do this myself
Trying to do for God what HE did for us.
When He says he loves you
He who knew no sin died for sin for us.
I owed a debt I could not pay,
He paid a debt he did not owe. What Gospel did”
1 John 4:10 – Love for payment of our sins
Faith overcomes obstacles
Gift – You must reach out and take it
Pride of thinking you can do it
Pride of subborness….I can do it later
Time is now…
Do you understand that you need a Savior….sin is your problem,..hell is your future….forgiveness is your need….and faith is your choice
Are you ready to choose forgiveness
I am going to choose FORGIVENESS FROM GOD
Make a Great Day! Dr Duke